Blind mine eyes! Put some clothes on!
What is it about summertime that turns people’s brain to chowder when it comes to fashion sense? Since Pharmacy Chick sees a bazillion people every day, I’d thought I’d share some of my own observations of shoppers who passed by in recent days. I swear some people get dressed in the dark…
1. Fat chick in Tube Top: Unless you are 6 years old or disappear when you turn sideways, leave the tube top at home. In fact, why not turn that thing into the rag that it is? I cannot believe anybody ever thought that taking an elastic cylinder of fabric, wrapping around a woman’s midsection and calling it fashion was a good idea. One rogue brat with an attitude and we’ll have the mother of all wardrobe malfunctions! PS Nice rose tattoo by the way
2. Same Woman, bottom half: Form fitting skin tight spandex looks really good on models in fitness magazines…and prepubescent teens . It looks especially scary when I can see the polka dotted underpants underneath.
3. Bra’s serve a useful function. Use one during all four seasons. They come in all sorts of fancy colors and fabrics now. They are practically artwork. Nobody wants to see your flabby breasts. This lady came in and to say that she is big-boned would be an insult to big bones everywhere. She was F.A.T. She heaved her flabbiness on my counter (too tired to stand up?) to ask a question. She had on a stretchy tank top (see previous observation) and nothing else underneath. I have no recollection of the conversation, but I’ll never get over the view.
4. Short-shorts. Lets add just a few more inches please. I’d rather not see your cheeks under your home made cut-offs. AND, Mr Mid-life Crisis, those running shorts from the 80’s looked great 20 years ago when you actually ran. Now that you are flabby and 50, you just look goofy. Buy some bermudas or cargos.
5. Muscle shirts: Unless you have been recently selected for the cover of a fitness magazine, chances are you aren’t the hottie you think you are. You are all sweaty and stinky and I am grossed out by all that shoulder and back hair sticking out. Jane Goodall would hand you a banana. Put a T shirt on.
6. Bikinis in the pharmacy? Wear your beach wear at the beach. Pharmacy Mike might not agree with me on this one (heh heh) , but then again he might especially since all that pizza you ate during the winter resides comfortably on your hips right now.
7. Nylon hose under shorts? WHAT?….and WHY?
8. Socks OR Sandals, not both…unless you live in Montana where I understand socks are usually worn with Birkies.
9. Miscellaneous faux pas: Dark dress socks with tennis shoes. Shorts with dress socks and loafers. Boxers or briefs? I dont care, just keep them INSIDE your shorts please. And if your stomach protrudes more than 3 inches over your belt, kindly have a shirt long enough to cover it up. AND, speaking of shirts, wear one when you come inside the store.
10 Bare Feet. I am sorry, perhaps I come from another era where ” no shirt, no shoes, no service” was on the door of most places, but it seems that I see an awfully lot of bare feet running around. Not only is it unsanitary but its unsafe. There’s a lot of nasty (sharp) stuff that ends up on the floor of a store and in a parking lot. If you cannot stand the idea of shoes, flip flops will do. Once I heard a shriek down the aisle. For some odd reason a lady shopper gave her toddler daughter a big can of tomatoes to hold. She didn’t hold them for long and dropped them directly on the foot of her mother (wearing only a flip flop) Cut clean thru the big toenail. I bandaged her up as best as possible and sent her to urgent care. 2 hours later she came back with rx’s to fill and said “The dr said you did a good job with the bandages”…yea me.
Any other visual offenses YOU’d like to share this summer?
Tags: non pharmacy stuff, nothing else to do, scary fashion | |