The Pharmacy Chick

Flying the Coop in Retail

Just in time for the Holidays: Baking disasters!

Filed under: Uncategorized — pharmacychick at 11:20 pm on Friday, December 19, 2008

Ok, We all have had them and now its time to fess up. Baking disasters 101.  Unfortunately I have had more than my share.  Lets just say I am a much better pharmacist than I am a cook.  I’ll never give Rachel Ray or Emeril a run for their money. Once I made pink macaroni and cheese. I’ll tell you about that later.  I do keep trying and occasionally I’ll whip up with something really special and complicated..like Rice Krispie Bars.

No, actually I can do better than Rice Krispie bars.  Sometimes however, it takes practice. 

My mother, God bless her, was a wonderful cook.  She had to be. Not only were things rather lean at our home, but Dad wouldn’t have taken us out to dinner anway. He hated to eat out. She could do amazing things with food. I loved her tuna casserole and hated her stuffed green peppers.  To this day I cannot duplicate her french onion chicken and I miss it terribly. 

I didn’t inherit her cooking skill, but to her credit, she did try to teach me. I give myself a C+.

This one earned me a F.  I decided to try my hand at candy making.  I had my mothers candy thermometer, my heavy pan and my directions.  I had to melt sugar into a caramely syrup.  The instructions said to constantly stir, so I did.  I stirred….and stirred….and stirred.  It started to liquefy and turn a nice caramel color but there was this small bit of off white that I couldn’t seem to get into solution.  So I kept stirring.  The more I stirred the more this white stringy stuff seemed to appear. I wondered if the sugar was crystalizing back out, but it couldn’t be, it was too hot.   I  just kept stirring and this white junk just kept appearing.  I had enough. This stuff wasn’t going right at all.  I pulled out the spatula and sat it on the spoon rest. OH MY,  there was about 2 inches less of my spatula than I had started!  I was dissolving my rubber spatula in the hot sugar.  Apparently “heat resistant” doesn’t mean “heat proof”.   Whups.  That ended my candy making evening..and the useful life of a spatula.

THEN, once I decided to make shortbread for a function I was attending.  I had made shortbread before, and in fact, I make really good shortbread, rich enough to clog your arteries right on the spot.  I had always used a brownie pan for making my shortbread but a friend of mine had gifted me with some new cookie sheets, the insulated Air-Bake kind.  Niiiice.  She said they make perfect shortbread.  I went thru all the preparatory machinations getting my shortbread ready for cooking, the whole batch fitting on one sheet, and put them in the oven. After 20 minutes or so they were done and I grabbed the cookie sheet and pulled it out.  I lifted on edge slightly higher than the other.  Before I could react, the entire batch slid off the cookie sheet and landed in a steaming heap on the bottom of the oven.  I never had completely flat cookie sheets before and I had never had ones so slippery.  What a mess. The whole thing was a loss, an hour of my time and a pound of butter wasted. 

Next time:  Pink Mac and Cheese and my Banana soup disaster.

I pass my melted spatula onto you–what have you ruined?

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6 Comments »

656

Comment by pharmacyintern2010

December 20, 2008 @ 7:13 am

I’ve made biscuits, shortbread ones, years (like 10 years ago) that somehow came out a bit hard and the next day they had the constancy of hockey pucks. I’ve also made a pair of coffee cakes and forgot to add the baking soda, I got very flat and very dense baked goods resembling a coffee cake.

657

Comment by Cathy Lane RPh

December 20, 2008 @ 6:30 pm

I used to do a lot of baking in my large family; Sunday morning coffeecake, breads, lunchbox cookies, ‘refreshments’ and other successful baking experiments. (They had to be successful as we were so poor we couldn’t afford to throw anything away–my mother made bread pudding the old-fashioned way, from bread crusts, leftover cookies, and cake!)

I lived at home while attending community college, then later in town, boarding during the week and returning home on weekends, often to do the baking. I had a habit, though, of losing concentration toward the end of heavy baking day, and there was a running joke about the color of overbaked cookies,

Several years after leaving home, thousands of miles away during Christmas break in the last year in pharmacy school, I was just removing a pan of chocolate cookies from the oven that I’d been alerted to by the fire alarm, and who walks through the door but my brother stopping by for a ski competition in Steamboat Springs–’still burning the cookies, eh, sis?’

658

Comment by Alana

December 20, 2008 @ 10:03 pm

I had an accident with cookies about three years ago. I used parchment paper so that I wouldn’t have to wash the cookie sheets between batches. When I went to take the sheet out of the oven, the cookies slid off onto the element and caught on fire. It shorted out my oven, and the fire department had to be called. We couldn’t get the oven to turn off, and were worried that there was damage to the wiring in the wall. My son thought it was the coolest thing that the firemen came and used a giant fan in our house, and to this day, he will blurt out the story at random times, usually to someone I’ve just met.

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Comment by Karen H

December 21, 2008 @ 7:33 pm

my newest successful recipe:

pretzel twists, topped by a rolo on a piece of wax paper (on a plate). Do 8 of these, microwave 22 seconds, press down into the rolo a pecan half. Voila, after cooling a few hours you have “Christmas candy”

660

Comment by chris

December 23, 2008 @ 5:55 am

before everyone who was into chemistry becam a terrorist i used to experiment in my mums house. I was trying to bake smoke bombs using a mixture of household bleach, sugar and a couple of other ingredients. Unfortunately my chemistry wasnt quite up to standard back then and I filled the house with black smoke. My mum never knew i used her microwave to “cook” my experiments, until that day when our lasagne had a horrific taste to it.

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Comment by LifeandtimesTech

December 23, 2008 @ 7:08 pm

You can’t microwave smoke bombs, you need to melt it on the stove…

Ya know I better stop there. Don’t want to give the kids ideas.

I had a recent one. I made peppermint marshmallows. They came out perfectly. However, in trying to one up myself, I though if I could coat them in a chocolate shell, they’d be even better.

Now, I’m normally a very good chef, and have a great talent for baked goods. However my candy-making knowledge is quite limited to marshmallow and hard candies. Chocolate is not one of my strong suits.

Well I melted the chips and got it nice and liquid, then I added the marshmallow cube to it. And something went wrong.

the entire pot seized up and became almost like fudge. It went from liquid chocolate to chocolate paste in almost no time at all.

Well, not understanding what happened, I figure if I can remelt the chocolate, everything will be fine. You can do it with butter, right?

Well, being lazy and impatient, I pop the paste into the microwave and nuke it for 35 seconds on high. (as per the directions on the chocolate package)

Well, something happened, because out comes what has the consistency of coco-powder. Or if one made really crispy brownies and pulverized them in the food processor.

Well, I gave up on that, used a much safer ganache recipe. Less volatile to rogue sugar molecules causing a crystalline catastrophe.

They are pretty good in a dark chocolate shell. I think the moisture of the marshmallow keeps the chocolate from hardening all the way.

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