I hate PBM help desks II
This is an actual summary of a recent call Pharmacy Chick had with an insurance help desk. A few things have been added for “effect”…:-)
bip bip bip bip….1-888 no-help here…ring ring.
“Thank you for calling MSPBIP provider services. to continue in English, press 1. To continue in Swahili press 2. (beeep)
For eligibiltiy press 1, For claims press 2, for prior authorizations press 3, for everything else press 4 (beeep)
For early refills press 1, for dose changes press 2, for DUR rejects press 3, other rejected claims, press four (beeeep)
please enter the subscriber ID number ( bip bip bip bip bip bip bip bip bip bip bip)
I am sorry that number does not match our files..please try again.. (BIP BIP BIP BIP BIP BIP BIP BIP BIP!!)
Please enter the date of birth in a month month/day day/year year year year format (bip bip bip bip bipbipbipbip)
Please enter the person code (bip bip)
Please enter the prescription number (bip bip bip bip bip bip)
Please hold as we research this claim (la de da musak zzzzzzzz)
This claim was rejected for too early refill, it was filled at YOUR pharmacy on this date (duh) and the next date of fill will be (too damn late, I already know all of this) If you still need to speak to a representative please press 1 (BEEEP)
Please hold as we transfer this to a customer service representative (la de da musak zzzzzzzzzz) 10 minutes later…..
“Allo, dis is Quishtaz my ID 203948. vat is the pachent’s ID numbah?”
PC: “I just spent 15 minutes entering that information.”
Quishtaz: “I still need it pease”
PC: ok, its 17399659029……..
Q: “Pachent Nahme?”
PC: “Ignotus Nobrainus”
Q: “Date of birf?”
PC: “I already entered that”
Q: “I musht veddify the dat of birf”
PC: “ok 10-10-10″
Q: “preskriptchun numbah?”
PC: “I already entered that also”
Q: “ve need the numbah peaze”
PC: (heavy sigh) ” ok, 246890″
Q: “Jour nahm?”
PC: “MY name?”
Q:…………”yahs, Joor Nahm”
PC: “pharmacy chick”
Q: “Pharmocyct or Teknichon?”
PC: “um why??”
Q: “I must rekord dat informatun”
PC: “pharmacist,” (how about favorite color or what I had for lunch)
Q: your NCPDP or NPI number?
PC (shuffling paper quickly) ” 12345689 and my favorite color is pink”
Q: Ignoring me by now….”ok, ow can I azzist chu today?”
PC: “I need a vacation override for this patient, he is leaving for Mexico tomorrow (nope,couldn’t have done this a week ago could ya pops?)
Q: “zure, I jus need hiz dat of Deparchur and hiz arrivul dat”
Um, (I make it up, plenty long)
Q: Sank you, while I go and check on dis with my zupervizor……*click***click**(ominous sound of dead silence instead of Muzak)…then dialtone….
PC: hello? Hello? HELLO? AAARRRRGGGHHH!
Its a good thing that spatulas aren’t sharp, because Hari Kari would have been performed today. Mr Mexico is just gonna have to pay for his vacation supply.
Tags: insurance, pharmacy life | |